If some kindly gentleman wants to start a Triumphant Dudes blog, then you might find the following advice: how to get husbands to provide some dramatic and glamorous romance for their wives. As if. This is the place for us girls, and we don't need to be huddled together fussing about all the things our man needs to be doing for us. I'm not having it. We need to focus on what we can do to make our lives enjoyable.
Chicks like romance. But, we play a game where we want our husband to read our mind and if the romance wasn't his idea, then it doesn't count. Then we get to pout. Instead, give yourself permission to come up with romantic ideas and plan them yourself. I think our husbands enjoy this stuff too while it's happening but, it's just not necessarily on their radar to plan it. My husband has done some very lovely, borderline extravagant things for me over the years, and I will always treasure that. But those things can't happen in real life on a regular basis. We ladies can keep the romance alive.
It doesn't take a lot of money to be romantic. In the days when our children were all under age 12, my husband and I rarely had actual dates out together. Maybe once or twice a year when grandparents were visiting. But we still had romance. Now, the children are old enough to be left in charge for a little while and we go out to dinner about once a week. Guess who makes sure this happens? That would be me. Look at it like you are the social director helper person for the CEO of your family. Don't let it hurt your feelings that it was your idea. It's still fun, and my husband really looks forward to it. It gives me something to live for all week if things are rough or stressful around my house.
All you really need is four things.
1. Go sit somewhere pleasant after the children are in bed. Or away from the older ones who go to bed when you do. If you have a dining room you don't use every day, that works. You've been in the other areas of the house all day, toys are strewn about and the dining room is safe from crossfire usually. De-clutter for a few minutes if you have to. When the weather is nice, front porch is a pleasant place in the evenings.
2. Light a candle. Boom, it's romantic. This is after the children are in bed so it's dark and it makes things seem happy and cozy. I like big huge candles with two wicks in a jar so they burn evenly. We sometimes play jazz music.
3. Make some sort of special big person snack on a pretty plate. Something the children aren't allowed to have and spill all day long.
4. Have a sweet and happy attitude. This is not the time for complaining about the children or venting about clashes with family or friends. Ask him what's on his mind, ask him about his day, ask him how he's doing. Let him talk. It takes you out of your worn out world to hear the things that a man ponders. He will provide some very interesting big person conversation if you will listen. Tell him cute or funny things about the children from that day.
There's your romance. He didn't ask you to go on a cruise with him or give you a diamond bracelet while strolling through the streets of Paris. But what you've just done is a very sweet and romantic little time together. And it cost about $10 if you include the candle and the snack. Your children will be happy that their parents spend time together and somehow seem to stay in love. This kind of romance is very sweet and very real.
Chicks like romance. But, we play a game where we want our husband to read our mind and if the romance wasn't his idea, then it doesn't count. Then we get to pout. Instead, give yourself permission to come up with romantic ideas and plan them yourself. I think our husbands enjoy this stuff too while it's happening but, it's just not necessarily on their radar to plan it. My husband has done some very lovely, borderline extravagant things for me over the years, and I will always treasure that. But those things can't happen in real life on a regular basis. We ladies can keep the romance alive.
It doesn't take a lot of money to be romantic. In the days when our children were all under age 12, my husband and I rarely had actual dates out together. Maybe once or twice a year when grandparents were visiting. But we still had romance. Now, the children are old enough to be left in charge for a little while and we go out to dinner about once a week. Guess who makes sure this happens? That would be me. Look at it like you are the social director helper person for the CEO of your family. Don't let it hurt your feelings that it was your idea. It's still fun, and my husband really looks forward to it. It gives me something to live for all week if things are rough or stressful around my house.
All you really need is four things.
1. Go sit somewhere pleasant after the children are in bed. Or away from the older ones who go to bed when you do. If you have a dining room you don't use every day, that works. You've been in the other areas of the house all day, toys are strewn about and the dining room is safe from crossfire usually. De-clutter for a few minutes if you have to. When the weather is nice, front porch is a pleasant place in the evenings.
2. Light a candle. Boom, it's romantic. This is after the children are in bed so it's dark and it makes things seem happy and cozy. I like big huge candles with two wicks in a jar so they burn evenly. We sometimes play jazz music.
3. Make some sort of special big person snack on a pretty plate. Something the children aren't allowed to have and spill all day long.
4. Have a sweet and happy attitude. This is not the time for complaining about the children or venting about clashes with family or friends. Ask him what's on his mind, ask him about his day, ask him how he's doing. Let him talk. It takes you out of your worn out world to hear the things that a man ponders. He will provide some very interesting big person conversation if you will listen. Tell him cute or funny things about the children from that day.
There's your romance. He didn't ask you to go on a cruise with him or give you a diamond bracelet while strolling through the streets of Paris. But what you've just done is a very sweet and romantic little time together. And it cost about $10 if you include the candle and the snack. Your children will be happy that their parents spend time together and somehow seem to stay in love. This kind of romance is very sweet and very real.
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