Okay girls. Ding ding on the glass, attention please. I have some important follow-up cross-examination statements to make regarding your hair and frizz for further review.

If your hair is frizzing out on you, try leaving in some conditioner after you wash it, just on the ends. As in, you leave this conditioner in all day and never wash it out. It is like lotion for your hair.

And drink a lot of water, all day every day. Your hair is thirsty, girlfriend.

My hair is thick and frizzy with some wave to it. It started turning gray 10 years ago which I don't think is a funny joke at all. I totally color it and plan to keep coloring it until I'm 70.

Who really cares, is the question. Well, I think our husbands appreciate it when we spend a little time in front of the mirror. They don't know exactly what is making them happy, kind of like when you mop the kitchen floor or dust the living room. They don't know you mopped or dusted, they just know the house looks nice.      

I did the short Mom hair cut a long time ago, and when I found out my husband prefers my hair long, I grew it out and have worn it long ever since then. Not because I am a repressed robot wife with no brain who is putty in the hands of male dominance evil global forces. But because I think it is sweet and womanly to please my husband. It's an act of kindness.

I think that, as Christians, we should try to honor God with the way we present ourselves. Our outer beauty should reflect the inner beauty that we know is there. And if you are a homemaker, keeping yourself looking nice helps you take your job more seriously. The days I've blown off fixing my hair, have been days that I never quite feel on top of things as a wife and mother. 

I abuse my hair with chemicals and heat. But guess what? New healthy hair eventually grows in. After I wash and condition my hair, I blow dry it straight using a gigantic round brush which takes some very acute hand-eye coordination and requires a six-feet diameter of personal space so that I do not harm myself or others. I use some goo first that's supposed to protect it from heat damage. I flat iron it sometimes if I'm feeling especially sassy. It takes about 15 minutes, maybe 20 tops.

I do all this because I've noticed that my husband likes it. He's too smart to actually tell me that, but I've noticed. When I don't have what it takes to blow-dry the beast straight but instead let it do its unplugged and wild woman curly thing, I have some goo that took me 15 years to find, after trying a million things to make my hair look pretty curly vs. ugly curly. I'd tell you what it is but everyone's hair is different and you'll be mad at me when it doesn't do right. Everyone has to figure out her own hair goo. I let it dry on its own with the goo on it, then a couple hours later go back and pull a few sections through a curling iron, to make it look like it was curly on purpose rather than something tragic happened to me. If you take a strand from the front and part it the other way and tuck it behind your ear, it looks nice in the front and less Bee Gees.

I fix my hair even if I'm not really going anywhere that day. I fix my hair even when my husband is going out of town and won't see me. I want other people to see me and say, "Oh that's that pilot guy's wife. She looks kind of nice today." We're our husbands' pride and joy.