Category: Toddlers

Hour by Hour

1/8/2016

One morning I woke up and was just so done with being a sweet, loving mother. I woke up and announced to God, "I cannot do this any more. I can't do it today. I'm finished." I had reached my Mommy limit with the children's problems and sin natures and I was done.
I knew that little people were going to be waking up and coming into my bedroom any minute now. I was thinking: it's about to get Jerry Springer around here.
So I had a little conversation with God and it went something like this. I told Him that if He would help me, I would agree to smile at the children and be nice to them, only from 7:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m., and then the rest of the day I would let the grumpiness fly.
When my toddlers woke up and came into my bedroom a little after 7:00 a.m., sure enough I held my arms out to them and hugged them, smiled at them and loved on them. I knew I could be mean at 8:00 so I did fine. Then at 8:00 a.m., I talked to the Lord and said okay God please help me be a sweet, loving mother only from 8:00 a.m. until 9:00 a.m. today. After that I can act the way I really feel. So I did that hour. At 9:00 a.m. I said, okay God from now until 10:00 a.m. help me not express how angry, fed up and done I am. Just for that hour. I asked God to give me strength and grace for that hour.
On the day went. I did this, every hour, in God's strength, until I put the children to bed that night. I was loving and kind all day.

Fancy on the Inside

4/15/2014

While my young toddler played at my feet in a doctor’s office, I flipped through a couple of those famous home and garden magazines. Normally I am relieved to see this sort of magazine in a waiting room, rather than the scandalous Hollywood ones.

But this time I realized something. Page after page was all about satisfying the flesh. Making everything nice for guests. Impressing people. Making everything look good: our homes, yards, selves and meals.

Pleasing our families with good meals is fabulous. Warm hospitality is Biblical. My house smells cozy and delish right now because I’ve got some BBQ ribs crockin’ away in the crock pot for my family's dinner tonight. But we ladies can let flashy articles and pictures get us so wrapped up in pleasing the flesh that we go way overboard and before we know it, that’s all there is. Pinterest, hellew? We can neglect the spiritual entirely. And I’m not talking about yah-yah spiritual meditation or man’s wisdom. I’m talking about the only real spirituality that will satisfy and that is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I got a pang of sadness that day, grief truly, when I looked at page after page of elaborate decorating and impressive home refurbishing. The question that sank deep into my heart was, “Why did they go with lime green for that curtain fabric rather than soft gray?” That and, “What were those children doing, while the ladies were busy with all of that?”

Families need their mommies. “While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal,” says 2 Corinthians 4:18. Let’s get a little radical shall we, and maybe suggest that the home and garden magazines are not that different from the smarmy Hollywood ones after all, in one important way: both kinds are all about the outward man rather than the inner man. Or in our case, the inner chick. The home ones just do it in a more tasteful, wholesome, socially acceptable way. Neither kind though is pointing us toward the eternal things of God. Kind of distracting us from Him actually.

“Well,” someone might say, “we have to leave religion out of it. It’s not practical. It’s just lampshades and tomato plants and we can’t expect mainstream publications to muddle everything up by dragging religion into it.” And I would say: too late. It’s already in there. There is no such thing as religious neutrality. The belief system presented to us in the home and garden magazines, whether they realize it or not, would go something like this: if you pursue our projects then your life will be fulfilling and joyful. Second to that is the implication that if you want to add church to your life on Sunday, then that is fine too. It keeps Christianity compartmentalized for us, just as neat and tidy as a shiny new granite kitchen island. But Christ said you’re either for me or against me and St. Paul said he couldn’t help but talk about the things of God, because he was sincerely living it. So we can’t go half-sies with our faith. It’s all or nothing. It’s flesh or Spirit.

I understand that these magazine folks have to deal with the authority of parent companies and oversight by media conglomerates. That’s the stuffy way of saying, “money” and “peer pressure.” And so the magazines understandably shy away from taking a stand on Christianity. This means they are reduced to a lifetime of setting elaborately gorgeous scenery and gasping happily over beautiful costumes. But there’s never a performance for fear of saying the wrong thing.

Galatians 6:8 tells us that, “For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” Solomon's temple was spectacular and God was all over that. We're talking gold floors and magnificent pillars. But planning it and building it had an end. And it had a purpose. A warning, even. God actually said to Solomon, "Concerning this house you are building..." 1 Kings 6:12 and then goes on to say to him that if you will walk in God's ways then God will "dwell among the children of Israel," and He said He wouldn't forsake them. God says it again after Solomon had finished building his own house and the temple: "I have hallowed this house," but you have to "walk before me, as David thy father walked." 1 Kings 9:3.

God tells Solomon that if he turns from following Him, it's going to bring evil upon the nation of Israel and what ended up happening was exactly that. "And the Lord was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned from the Lord God." 1 Kings 11:9. Eventually that temple was completely destroyed by the Babylonians a few hundred years later. But of course we know it wasn't really the Babylonians: it was God. He said that for David's sake He would wait to destroy the temple but for now, He sent Solomon an adversary, this extremely pesky and mischievous guy named Jeroboam.

Isn't that what we all get out of flipping through a home and garden magazine? Maybe not. The magazines are fine. Pinterest is fun. There is nothing wrong with a home project here or there. I love making my house pretty. My daughters and I chatter and talk while we clean together on Saturdays. Cooking says love.

But the Bible says to know well the condition of our flock. The Bible says we are to be about the things of God, for us and for our children. Our purpose is to glorify God, not ourselves and our stuff. If we buy into a lifestyle where cabinets are constantly being re-stained, if we allow ourselves to be persuaded that improving rooms is a way of life that never stops, if we are busy preparing for guests and fretting over the “outside of the cup” to the point where that’s all there is: then, the outer man sure is pretty. But there’s no lasting satisfaction in any of that for the mother and, meanwhile, the family has been left to its own devices.

Note: This blog, Fancy on the Inside, was published in the summer 2014 edition of Better Times Magazine, the publication for A Better Way Ministries, which helps men struggling with addiction by leading them to Christ.

Could I Please Just Chop These Carrots

11/23/2013

When we try to stand at the kitchen sink or the kitchen counter to cook, and anyone in our family's population under the age of 3 is nearby, it can be highly frustrating.

They cry and hang on your legs.

As every woman has observed, cooking is a two handed operation. No matter how tenderhearted you are about letting your baby or toddler koala bear onto you all day long like a suction cup or a piece of velcro, you cannot hold them while you cook. You really cannot have them stuck to you in a baby sling or carrier either, because you can't see over them to see whether you are about to chop a carrot or a finger.

I shove my high chair up to the counter and let them stand in it facing the counter. It's like a tall stool that almost has sides.

Once the child is old enough to stand without crashing most of the time, they can stand in the high chair and help. This is probably violating 16 safety codes recommended by the pediatric association. But the pediatric association people are in climate controlled offices with no tiny people hanging on their legs crying while they try to give their power point presentations. This is real life. I haven't had anyone fall or paralyze themselves yet and it keeps the toddler occupied while you cook. I give them a tiny portion of whatever I'm working on to make them feel big. When they get old enough, I have an un-sharp knife that they can pretend to use to chop stuff up.

You're their whole world. They're not trying to ruin your day or sabotage your cooking. They just want to be right there with you because you're where the fun is, you're where the action is, and you're where the love is.

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